jueves, 30 de abril de 2009

The Monster & the Maid: a gothic morality tale

By Ester Astudillo (amb la setmana post-sant Jordi)

© copyright of the image at www.marcambros.com, based on the book Mecanoscrit del segon origen by Manuel de Pedrolo

Nota: Si algú no llegeix anglès i té interès en la història, tinc disponible la versió catalana. Però aviso que el conte va ser originalment concebut i escrit en anglès, i per tant la versió anglesa està més treballada (a més del plus que hi havia la deliberada intenció de fer-li un xic la contra al sant patró!!!). Please feel free to ask for the Catalan version & I’ll send it over quick quick like an angel, by air-mail!!!

Once upon a time, there was a remote territory where aboriginal inhabitants had been made, today as yet inexplicably, captive to vile corrupt barbaric monsters. Evil reigned overall, terror was governor of bodies and souls, if such names were at all applicable in that darkened era, and everything went very much along the lines in a gore Romantic gothic novel. So ghastly was life on that land that no name could ever be assigned to it; much much worse, no name could be imagined for it according to human standards, so awful were life conditions and life itself there.

The story-line goes as follows. Barbarians and raptors disposed of their victims, who one could easily guess were only miserable human specimens, following their foulest instincts, which surprisingly enough, history has taught us, turned out to be very similar to those known to be characteristic of contemporary humans. They enslaved them, made them prisoners and tortured them if serfs chose to transgress their commands however ghoulish those might be, raped females (it was a ritualistic procedure that only human maids were required to copulate with male underworldlings; no reverse case was ever known of) and made those unfortunate once beautified maids bear children partly human and partly fiendish (one can’t help wondering whose divine or devilish design it had been for both species to be genetically compatible, which fact confers them a mystifying uniqueness in the history of evolution).

Debased as barbarians went, they also disposed of humans’ lives as and whenever they chose to, if need be for keeping demographic numbers down or any other such futile imperative. Still life prevailed, evil prevailed, order prevailed, fucking prevailed, reproduction prevailed, grief prevailed as a common standard among half the population, debauchery prevailed among the other half; no oxymoron there, if you follow me.

Children born to mixed couples were raised and assigned to the vilest domestic and demonic social chores, for reasons apparent if you keep reading. Indeed, due to the rapturous gusto experienced by male underworldlings during mixed coupling, and for reasons still mysteriously unveiled, mixed mating continued to thrive, if however against the odds, since such abhorrent chimeras, whether male or female, were sterile and could not bear children themselves, however slightly more beautified and morally superior they might have been according to barbarian standards, as went the barbaric long-term eugenics scheming. Which goes to explain why the unfortunate non-pure born shared the lowest social niche along with enslaved humans in that nondescript underworld.

Luckily for the perpetuation of both species, humans could also reproduce among themselves in that nether world (it goes without saying brutish barbarians fucked like crazy among themselves, but to no avail: their pure-born offspring continued to be as evil, vile, moronic and abhorrent as their ancestors). So it was just advantageous that humans were allowed to fuck, and eventually reproduce, even if under strict surveillance from their captors, imperious as it turned out to be given the befallen misfortune of inherited sterility among mixed descendants.

Costumary law on that unnamed territory established that the first sexual intercourse for human maids be scheduled during the peak of their hormonal cycle immediately following the onset of their period, and performed, of course, by a senior male underworldling. Such agenda incredibly magnified the chance of begetting mixed children. Surprisingly enough, barbarians were obdurate enough they never got it into their imbecile minds that such an agenda, if anything, ran counter to their interests –if however, of course, granting them the incomparable rapture of taking human maids’ virginity, which, everything must be said, is a bonus in itself-, mixed progeny being unfruitful and thus of no help for the beautification and rise in moral standards of the barbaric species –Huxley would have had something to say about this, what with his alphas, betas, gammas, etc., but Huxley had not been born yet, so…

Whether it was fortune, destiny, serendipity, fatality or mere error, there was one courageous maid in that nether land that turned that horrendous underworld upside down, with the outcome of the universe standing rightly on its feet (you may read backwards here, if that be your wish), just the way we’ve come to know it. She was determined to have her first sexual intercourse with a male her equal –by that meaning ‘human’-, who knows what her ultimate reasons for such obduracy and strong-willed resolution might have been, particularly taking into account what she was risking (her life amongst other things, unspeakable physical and psychological maltreatment, etc.). Legend goes that she was the first Romantic heroine on Earth ever, long before ideas such as history, literary trends and the like were even possibly imaginable.

Rumours had it she was somewhat misbehaved and slightly suicidal. A precedent for Orwell’s 1984 without her knowing, she committed the crime of so-called falling in love with a handsome human sexually inexperienced lad her age, who shared her very same eventful life in the foul world they inhabited and who happened to have also fallen for her. The maid’s body was so full, her shape so poised, her lips so voluptuous, there was no missing her oncoming first period, which fact was apparent for herself too, having been trained in such domains by a kind sorcerer by then, alas, already deceased.

So in view of what was due to happen on the precise day of her first blood, the rapturous –not for herself, of course- stealing of her virginity by a senior barbaric male, plus the hardly negligible probability of an approaching abhorrent pregnancy, she took it into her head she would somehow outwit her barbarians’ surveillance and make love with her fiancé every night on since the day of her first bleeding: if her fate was to conceive any creature at all, let the creature be at least human!

Her blood came and there was never public word about what machinations, surely with a notorious witchcraft component, she had made use of to outwit her captors, but outwitting them she did, with her accompanying faithful human male hero by her side, whose name, by the way, happened to be as unimportant as every other male’s in the neighbourhood, and thus justly forgotten.

Fortune had the heroine beget a human baby, and the three of them, female, male and child, set out to somehow –no public word about by what means, either- undo all former evil on that god-forsaken land, put an end to brutish debauchery and unmotivated suffering, and eventually managed to start an all-human brave new world (as you like it, here, you may read candidly à la Shakespeare or ironically à la Huxley, whatever’s more up your alley), with absolutely every little piece in the story’s happy ending pivoting around the epics of a brave human maid growing in her womb a human baby around the seed of a pure human male. The female’s name, incidentally, was Eve. The rest, of course, as you may guess, is history, like it or not, believe it or not.

13 comentarios:

Mercè Mestre dijo...

Aaaahhhh, això sí que és preprepreprehistòria contra/sota/suprabíblica, i la resta són punyetes!

Molt autèntica, aquesta llegenda bàrbarament bàrbara, col·lega! No coneixia aquesta faceta ironicoèpica teva, però no deixis de cultivar-la perquè se't dóna de conya (Ah, i thanks per la traducció, baby!)

Per cert, que m'ha vingut al cap que algunes bèsties d'aquelles sí que es devien reproduir sense passar per cap Evax ni cap altra homínida ni donínida bíblica perquè, fent una ullada superficial al "món feliç" que ens envolta, penso que són monstres genèticament purs. M'ho pots explicar en la segona part de la llegenda? Ara estic intrigada, tu...

Petons ;)

Ester Astudillo dijo...

Mercè, Mercè, gràcies, col·lega. És trist arribar al final del dia sense cap comentari, tot i que ja ho sabia, sent en anglès i tota la pesca. I no és que St. George sigui sant de la meva devoció, però, eh! Però ja comences a conèixer de què peco, ja!

Bueno, sí, és clar, dono la possibilitat de llegir-ho a l'inrevés, i que la prepreprehistòria contra/sota/suprabíblica sigui realment el present en lloc del passat. Mmmmm,no sé per quina opció decantar-me, a tu què et sembla? Món feliç total, Shakespeare, Huxley, Orwell i la puta d'oros. Però jo em demano ser alfa, ara i sempre. I el gran hermano sólo es?/era? un programa de televisión. Aquests capullos ho sabien el que estaven fent quan fan posar-hi aquest títol? Sent un alfa no sé si puc arribar a comprendre el raonament lògics d'aquests pobres gammes tan idiotitzats, jajaja!

Petons i bon pont-aqüeducte.

You're welcome about the translation. És que si no, no hauria tingut ni el teu, de comentari! Ho he fet amb tota la intenció
-d'alfa, esclar:)

Petons i aviam si la setmana vinent fem una kdd.

Anónimo dijo...

No he entendido nada.

Ester Astudillo dijo...

Em temo que en el món feliç de Huxley, l'escalafó de més avall eren els deltes, noi. D'on cony has sortit tu???? És possible un món encara mééééés feliç? Ou là là.

Mercè, estic a l'aguait de la teva publicació d'avui. Hi compto, encara que sigui dia de descans obligat per allò del dia del treball. Puc comptar-hi, oi?

Mercè Mestre dijo...

Pots comptar-hi, Ester.

Com que avui estic en fase omega total, he penjat una cosa sobre els esperits i altres bèsties cotidianes a l'hora de l'àngelus per no interrompre gaire el descans dels treballadors alfes i epsilons, jje, jje!

Bont pont í fins la setmana que B

R.P.M. dijo...

Precioso Ester. Me encanta tu pasión ironía en este "tercer origen". Me gustó Pedrolo cuando lo leí pero me voy a quedar con éste, tanto que me gustaría que me hicieras lelgar la versión en català para disfrutar por los dos costados lingüísticos. Gracias.

R.P.M. dijo...

Perdón, "llegar"

Ester Astudillo dijo...

Gracias, rufino, experto en lenguas, espíritu bilingüe.

Oscar Sotillos dijo...

Batua l’olla, ester, como siempre tu verbo me deja patidifuso, desde hoy te nombro Espeleóloga del Diccionario y Esgrimista de la Sintaxis de la corte del rey arturo. Y eso lo escribiste en inglés? Oh my God! Tú no tienes el first o el nivel C, tienes el nivel Z, Mazinger Z!

Ester Astudillo dijo...

No, de Mazinger Z no, tengo el de Afrodita A, 'Pechos fuera'. Pero tú eres de otra generación. Lo debiste ver en una reposición, claro. Todo acaba volviendo, eterno retorno, y pollas filosóficas de esas, que al final acaban siendo realidad, ou là là. Desde cuando el pensamiento y la realidad son compatibles? Hay algo que me he perdido? Dónde y cuándo?

Gracias, Óscar :)

Oscar Sotillos dijo...

oye oye no te equivoques de generacion, yo llore con heidi y con marco y afrodita fue mi primer suenyo erotico sin aun saberlo, y nada de reposiciones, que soy de la quinta de con 8 basta!!!

Ester Astudillo dijo...

Ah, bueno. Tú eres de la década de las flores, entonces? Seguro que tu década ya empieza con un 7. Yo tenía 6 meses cuando el evento de mayo del '68, que algo ya se me debió pegar así a distancia, l'esprit fraçaise revolucionaire, aunque mis padres dudo mucho que siguieran el desarrollo de la historia. Así nos van las cosas entonces, ahora entiendo tu exilio a Francia, mi exilio interior y otras debacles. Ahhhh!

Anónimo dijo...

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